Cloud69 Sex Blog

This recession is affecting everyone. Some have to cut costs, some companies are closing, a lot of people are unemployed and people are skimping on their electric bill to maintain their porn site subscriptions. I think it’s safe to say porn related expenses have been affected the least from downturn in the economy. So adult entertainment companies need to keep supplying the public with what they want. Unfortunately they aren’t immune to the economic problems so to avoid going out of business they need to cut some corners. Here are some suggestions for those companies that want to weather the storm.

Location:

Obviously the setting is important to set the mood. Big beds, silk sheets, decorations, music, extras, lighting, etc. So this might be an issue for people who prefer to only watch porn that takes place in exotic locations such as beautiful beaches and the top of the Eiffel Tower. Those present different problems but some can be dealt with detailed backdrops or some subtle dialog like “Hey, let’s have sex on top of the Eiffel Tower.” Most people don’t have fancy tastes like that and are content as long as someone is getting drilled or blown. It’s pretty easy to minimize the surroundings and just focus on those things. You can use real small rooms, make the bed optional, keep everything dark so there’s nothing else to see, and just stick to close ups the entire time. I don’t know if it exists but the Vagtastic Voyage that was mentioned in Superbad has perfected minimizing costs. They just pick up girls in a windowless van and drive around while they get fucked. Since there are no windows they may even just forget using gas and park in a garage.

The 6 Sigma approach to porn

Models:

Some actresses have made it big doing porn for as long as they can. They are good at what they do and get compensated for it. People will buy things just because of name recognition. I mean imagine if Jenna Jameson sold dildos or Lebron James starred in a porn. They would both be very profitable. In times like these consumers may be ok with a little less quality and start shopping a little smarter. Instead of paying $150 for Lebron’s shoes they may hit up Payless at the local mall.

This is when you know times are tough

Instead of paying top dollar for a Jenna Jameson porno they may be content with anyone with a vagina under 30 years old. Some of the top names are going to have to ‘negotiate’ for price with producers until they can reach an agreeable number. I’m not sure how sexual favors are thought of in the sex industry. Otherwise they are going to go with the no name chick making $2.75/hour waiting tables that will do anything for some extra money. Extortion is one of the first things you learn at porno film school.

I hate my job and my father, where do I sign up?

Film Crew Synergy:

Like I mentioned before many producers still insist on having some sort of plot or set up for the eventual sex scenes. Some of these may involve outdoor shots or other characters or extras. First off, if anything is going to be filmed in public you should just get the tape rolling and see what happens. You’re not going to get any more genuine expressions or emotions from low paid actors than you will from startled pedestrians. Use their reactions or even have dialog with them that can be dubbed over later like kung fu movies. If there are scenes that need specific dialog but no nudity why not grab one of the crew members. Like that asshole who snaps that board and says action. He’s sitting around like 70% of the time so make it worth your while.

Can't you do anything else?

Also, if you have any good looking, shameless crew members see if they want to get in on a scene. They probably get pretty frustrating watching people have sex all day. Let ‘em loose. You might find you’re next star.

Film:

There is one thing I find odd about people that watch porn and I’m not excluding myself. There really isn’t much difference between any one movie and another and yet we feel the need to buy new stuff all the time. Crazy shit like tentacles raping Chinese school girls aside there are a few basic things that happen and that’s about it.

Not one of those basic things

There’s less than 10 camera angles in any movie and even less if you already cut back on scenery and aren’t bothering with any wide shots. So would it be that hard, and more importantly noticeable, if some of those cut scenes were just looped at different times throughout the movie. You’ll notice the same thing in old movies with low budgets. In a car chase they will appear to fly around the same corner three different times. Using this strategy, depending on the number of cameras you have, you could make a 45 minute movie with like 15 minutes of footage. You save on film, overhead expenses, wages for any hourly employees, and lunch break expenses. No one gets a break when you only work for a half hour and this way you can crank out a ton more movies in a shorter amount of time. You could make a whole five movie series in an afternoon.

Advertise:

One way producers can make some extra money to help pay expenses is through advertising. Companies will pay you in exchange for you placing their brand names into different shots. Remember that two hour commercial for Converse that they called I, Robot?

It's also important to be subtle

It’s just like that. Do everything else the same you would otherwise, just make sure when they smoke afterwards that you can clearly see they are smoking brand X. Now I understand there may be fewer things and places to put ads on if you’re already using the cuts I’ve mentioned but the human body is a perfect place for product placement. Instead of some Japanese symbol on the small of her back throw some ads on there instead.

There's no doubt where you're going for a late night snack

So when someone wants to refurnish their deck they are going to think of the Home Depot ad they saw last night when they were rubbing one out.

Best of:

Everyone loves best of CDs. Half the time people will just burn their own mix of their favorite songs by one artist. They always have those big collections from different decades and anytime a musician hasn’t sold a record in a while they come out with a greatest hits.

This dude spent 10 minutes in photoshop and has a new album

The best part about them is that there is hardly ever any new material. At best they throw on what they call bonus tracks. Somehow you’re convinced they are special just cause they aren’t old when in reality it’s like you just a bought a two song CD. This would absolutely work for porno DVDs. The technology to mix and match music is still much easier for most people than trying it with video. People will definitely give out their credit card info for a best of DVD.

As you can see there are plenty of ways to cut corners in tough times. As long as two semi attractive people are going at it people will buy it. Forget the bells and whistles while the economy recovers. As long as producers keep the movies coming people will keep on cumming.